पहचान

आसमान पर सितारों में कई जुगनू भी तो होंगे,
सितारों की चमक से दूर, वोह भी कहीं चमकते ही होंगे
चाँद की चांदनी और सूरज की रौशनी से परे
इन जुगनुओं की रौशनी भी तो किसी के चहेरे पे चमक लाती होगी।

सितारों के शहर में, एक जुगनू बेचारा,
अपना वजूद ढूँढता हुआ, घूमता आवारा।
आज उसे भी अपनी मंजिल नज़र आई,
औरों की चमक में उसे अपनी पहचान नज़र आई।

आंखों में आज उसके सपनो की चमक छायी,
उसकी खुशी में, सबके चेहरों पर खुशी आई।
आज सितारों में एक जुगनू ने,
अपनी जगह बनाई।।

Ashes...

White, Single-limbed,
lean in frame, untamed
draped in smoke...
an Aphrodite, you claim!

it glows, as I draw near
locked, in your lips
and I breathe in my tears
silently waiting, in the haze!

you never let go,
and it clings.
burning in its smoldering gaze
I slowly disappear.

Sentient

in your shadow
in your splendor
i yet wonder
what are you?

warm and tender
i surrender
and i wonder
why are you?

dark and hazel
lost in gaze
i do wonder...
where are you?

Transient

I am transient
a non-essential
a go between

hooked on survival
drugged on pleasantries
absent in reflections
hazy in memories

problems and troubles
are dearer than me
you hold onto them
and you let me leave

a castle in air
a house of cards
a dream, a wisp, a memory charm

the shrill of the good times
the laugh of the giddy

an existential difficulty ~ for all good memories.

Dicide

a double edged decision
in its wake
breaks the heart
or pardons the ache... for life
questions..
counter-questions
each bursting through...
a peace of frame,
leaving bullet holes behind.

moral convictions..
perceptions
predictions..
all lose ground and remain
dull..lifeless..practical.. mundane.

dreams or wisps of imagination
curling up in smoke
dying in flames..

I do not know what is to become of me
Happiness is something.. I cannot claim

yet... I wait
I breathe.. I pray..
awaiting my fate..

Bloom in red

Stage 1: The sketch


2. The first layer


3. The dead layer


4. the final look

surreal

of the green in spring time
and the love on valentine,
sweet wine at supper time,
guitar strings and lullaby.
thoughts which always stand by you
bitter winds or summer chimes,
budding rose and winter rhymes.

cozy in twilight, a farewell
I bid, your memories,
your smiles...
candle unlit, unshed tears
snow flakes of breathless fears
wondering at happenstance
which brought you here...

eyes brooding, looking at you
smiles brewing, thinking of you
love blooming, in your hue
trapped in conversations.

~गर्दिश ~

नज़्म की रूह के हैं कुछ कोने खाली,
उल्फत भरी साँसों की अब रज़ा क्या है?
छीन ली मेरे नर्म होठों की हँसी,
मेरी रंजिश है, मेरी खता क्या है?

दर्द और साज़ के फसानो की खातिर

हुस्न-ओ-इश्क़ में डूबी .. वफ़ा क्या है?

नम हैं आँखें मेरी, खामोशइयों का खौफ़ है,
आज महफिल में, तेरे आने की, .. वजह क्या है?

~~

Sleep Deprived

hazel, glazed...
dazzled eyes..
cushioned in pink,
averse to light.
addicted to blink,
after every night.
lined in black,
tear trails stand.. within,
un-wet cheeks.

unwanted thoughts,
unbidden, unsought!
breeching feeble fences,
creeping therein.
chaotic n clever
battles in sleep,
attacking in inches.
Minds.., they steal.
enraging thoughts,
in weird dreams.

restless hearts,
leave all distraught
no one in control.
yes, I am "sleep deprived"
barely able.... rarely alive.
Incomplete!
Un-Whole!

Resistance to Change

consumed with a fierce hunger,
the seething hunger ~ to devour pain.

I refuse the challenge!
~a challenge to change...
I would rather abstain
refrain... sustain..
static and steady, I could even explain
No I won't Change
rather not change
better not change.
.. its hard to explain...

reasons terrify me.
seasons verify.. the claims.. again!
change is the sameness
it is a constant, in the guise of change.
No I won't change
rather not change
better not change
.. there is nothing to explain.


don't you see
they fool you all~
they take away from you
all that you are
mold you into something shiny
all lustre.. no talk..
they write your destinies.. your downfall
yet you ask me
question me about it all
No I won't change
rather not change
better not change
... change implies destruction
change implies construction
... change takes me away... from ............ where you are!

I won't change.

Oscar gems

This is the list of all 80 films that have won an Oscar for Best Picture. Bold the ones you've seen.

Wings
The Broadway Melody
All Quiet on the Western Front
Cimarron
Grand Hotel
Cavalcade
It Happened One Night
Mutiny on the Bounty
The Great Ziegfeld
The Life of Emile Zola
You Can't Take It with You
Gone With the Wind
Rebecca
How Green Was My Valley
Mrs. Miniver
Casablanca
Going My Way
The Lost Weekend
The Best Years of Our Lives
Gentleman's Agreement
Hamlet
All the King's Men
All About Eve
An American in Paris
The Greatest Show on Earth
From Here to Eternity
On the Waterfront
Marty
Around the World in 80 Days
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Gigi
Ben Hur
The Apartment
West Side Story
Lawrence of Arabia
Tom Jones
My Fair Lady
The Sound of Music
A Man for All Seasons
In the Heat of the Night
Oliver!
Midnight Cowboy
Patton
The French Connection
The Godfather
The Sting
The Godfather Part II
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Rocky
Annie Hall
The Deer Hunter
Kramer v. Kramer
Ordinary People
Chariots of Fire
Gandhi
Terms of Endearment
Amadeus
Out of Africa
Platoon
The Last Emperor
Rain Man
Driving Miss Daisy
Dances with Wolves
The Silence of the Lambs
Unforgiven
Schindler's List
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
The English Patient
Titanic
Shakespeare in Love
American Beauty
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind
Chicago
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Million Dollar Baby
Crash
The Departed
No Country for Old Men

~Cracks~

Can you see it spreading?
from across the seas?
miniscule distances or
giant leagues??

separations, limitations
crevices and cracks
bound together, yet
only silence, fills the gaps

can you hear me, when I call?
can you love me, when I fall?
"Yes".. you say.. and still,
the cracks widen

असमंजस

one lingers and i falter in its wake
still holding on,
to its stale breath
i cant really let go

another lingers, swift in its melody
i chase on
flying across its ethereal surface
it swallows me.. yet remains unaffected

wraiths..one claims
one suspects dementors
while another suggests.. i should surrender

गुज़ारिश

दो पल झपकें , वो पल पलकें ।

कोपल देखें , नैन तेरे ॥

तारे रिम झिम, रातें गिन गिन ।

बीते पल पल, रोक इन्हें ॥

कल कल बहता, रहता दिन भर ।

वक़्त का दरिया, रोते रोते ॥

आ नैना भर, देखूं तुझको ।

हर पल गुज़रे, हँसते हँसते ॥

सा पा म गा सा रे

सा रे ग ग सा

"Suggestions"

Harried dresses,

Worrisome tresses,

curling about in frenzy!

gazing in longing..

at lines and mirrors,

believing the lies and sinners.

each bearing a silver lining,

a reflection, of its own.

Do I map ?

to the expectation of beauties...

you so rarely adore

Evenly you look at me,

unimpressed.

Consciously I wonder..,

and you close the door!

Last Day

Don't look back
never look back
but thoughts still fluttered,
on the past

you didn't matter
"us" didn't matter
but I wondered if it would last!

you didn't lie
you never lied
your only fault was that you never stayed
never shared... your heart


Broken shards, reflecting,
a million smiles...
'you came back!'

but with a heavy heart, you said
"I have to go,
I told you it wouldn't last"

how can you be so righteous!, even as you break my heart!

एहसास - 'a feeling'

क्या थी वो बात?
थी जो बात कहनी तुम्हे!
दबे हुए अल्फाज़,
तेरी ही याद
सताए मुझे
कहनी है कुछ बात?
कल रात भी
ख्वाबों ने सताया मुझे
चुप हो तुम
चुप हूँ मैं भी
कैसा प्यार जताया तुमने
रंजिश और गम कि बात न करो
दामन रोज़ भिगोया हमने

आज कह दो!
वो बात ,
थी जो बात कहनी तुम्हे
दस्तक है ये ख़ुशी कि
या दिल कि है धड़कन?
कह दो आज!
क्यूँकी मैंने सिर्फ चाहा तुम्हे

'Daayara' - fencing the boundary

sifting through the memories
(memories i have collected of you)
i wonder if you loved me
(or if i loved you too)
I wonder if you left,
because you had nothing to say.
or if you just forgot,
that it was something special we shared
and love had nothing to do with it all.

I still miss you
when an odd hour strikes
but I would surely not seek you
when i need someone to fight
remember this now:

"if suddenly
you forget me,
do not look for me
for I shall already have forgotten you"


once lost
twice redeemed
three times an offer
to go extreme
but even i have boundaries
which is where I am at.


PS - "the 4 lines in quotes, have been directly quoted from the poem 'If you forget me' by Pablo Neruda"
-------------------------------

दायरा

यादों का कायदा
ये यादों का फ़ायदा
चाहा था मैंने तुम्हे ?
या ये था सिर्फ तुम्हारी चाहत का जायज़ा
उम्मीद थी कभी
कि तुम्हे भी होगा एहसास
जो था हमारे बीच
वो था चाहत से भी ज़यादा

खटखटाते लम्हों में भी
तुझे ना बुलायेंगे
ढूंढेंगे जब ख्याल तुम्हे
तो कुछ यूँही उन्हें समझायेंगे

गर तुम भूल गए हमें
तो तुमको भी हम भुलायेंगे

तुम चुप कहीं खो गए
और अब यही मेरा दायरा

"Taare Zameen Par" ~ se inspired

khwabon mein ulajhte chehre,
lehrate, nachte,
sunehere badlon se hote hue,
woh panchi.. unke gharonde.

neele aasman mein
tairti machliyan
bhigoye hue sooraj ke
sookhte hue kapde

sach hai yeh sirf khwab hi hai
par dekha hai maine ise
aap hi ne dikhaya hai
is ek kahani mein, ek saaz piroya hai

taare yun roz aate nahi zameen par
darsheel, aamir
aapne ek nayi duniya ka yeh
dwaar khola hai

ab yahan khayalon mein,
roz koi aayega
aur nayi kahanaiyon se
ise aur sajayega.

smithereens

लहराता है खंजर कहीं
आघोश के अंधेरे में
और फसीं हुई है रोशनी
इस दिल-दुनिया के झमेले में
खंजर करता है वार
पर नज़र आता नहीं, जो
बहता है लहू अब भी
हमारे ही सीने से
आसुओं को रोक सके नहीं
और ठहर गए इसी लम्हे में
जहाँ फसीं हुई है रोशनी
और हम गुम हैं अंधेरों में
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

blades in stealth
hiding in agony
trapping the light
is my heart's misery

slashing my heart
are yet unseen knives, as
the heart bleeds
in my own misery

tears unbidden, carry on,
and I am stuck in this moment
as is the light, lost
along with me in darkness.