kuch toota hai kahin
ek sheesha sa ab mere dil mein hai
kisi ne khadi kari hai ek diwar
ab un tak pahunchna mushkil mein hain
hairat to yeh hai ki
dard nahi hai.. gam nahi hai
fir bhi khush rehna ab mushkil mein hai
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Octpowrimo - #11 - Connect
crowded queues varied views tragic news! I seek to escape... need to over-generalize. Each viewpoint - its own faded hue orange, reds and bl...
4 comments:
Firstly, the picture is superb. Secondly, so is the verse. However i would like to balance it a bit. Shaayari is like walking on a swords edge, you just have to manage the poise.
Sorry to take liberties with your creation, but it was so lovely i had to do it. So on a first cut, i did it this way:
Toota hai kuch kahin par
ek sheesha sa ab mere dil mein hai
Khadi kari kisi ne yun deewar
un tak pahunchna ab mushkil mein hai
Hairat ki gham nahin
dard-e-sitam nahin
fir bhi ab khushi
mushkil teri mehfil mein hai
no comments?
I have left my post as it is, just to let everyone know.. how beautiful it sounds with your edits.. :-)
Thanks a ton!!
Come on! The idea is yours the words are yours, the beauty is yours, so why thank me?
Maine toh bas idhar ka udhar kiya hai aur kuch bhi nahin.
Post a Comment