Thursday, March 02, 2006
Mild Hysteria
alone on a sidewalk
her legs are criss-crossed
sitting down on the pavement
her vacant eyes stare
with colours of magic all around her
in her secret chamber she waits
head bowed low, as if in prayer
hands clasped tight around her waist
the mirror is cracking
all seems fake, unreal
like a marching army
the crowd gathers around her
curiosity..curiosity...
a burning question all around
they can sense it too now
the moment is approaching
as she looks around
her last sight is a blur
the hunger gets to her
before the poison....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Octpowrimo - #11 - Connect
crowded queues varied views tragic news! I seek to escape... need to over-generalize. Each viewpoint - its own faded hue orange, reds and bl...
-
I often just sit up and try to figure out what is it that i am supposed to be hanging around here for? which question is assigned for me to ...
-
loony tunes in my head chirping ahead walking adept striking a chord beating the thoughts i am singing a song laughin along who goes there? ...
-
Out alone in the balmy night just looking for someone to fight I stand alone by the swing fighting the frustrations from within Nothing.. to...
5 comments:
a beggar woman dying alone on a sidewalk? nicely written!
Classic.
Morbid.
Tragic.
She was on Death Row?
@Pieces:
Well, even I thought I should have a nice ending but I wanted to portray reality... Your understanding of the 'heart'-bit is astute!!
I wanted to indicate how the heart will continue to be broken until one leaves the attachment with the pieces...
Is that correct?
Rgds,
Hari
@Mild Hysteria
It's got this subtle gore! Nice usages.. "vacant eyes" and then "colours" was brilliant. Build-up was brilliant but hunger and poison was anti-climac... hahaha...
Good work...
@Hari
Thanks for the lovely critique, must say that you do it well.. :)
@Orikinla
No not a death row, but i tried doing a comparison.
@Sandhya
thanks for the compliment!
Post a Comment